Has your confidence been holding you back in some areas of your life?
If so, you’re not alone!
We’ve ALL felt insecure, lacking confidence and afraid that we’re not good enough.
Even the most outwardly confident people experience this– myself included! [Read on for how I still take action even when I’m really bad at something– and worse– when I’m completely terrified.)
BUT it doesn’t need to stay that way.
We don’t need to be trapped in our lives by our own lack of confidence.
There are PLENTY of things you can do to grow your confidence, and today I want to share 5 powerful KEYS that you can use to DOUBLE your confidence.
WE ARE USUALLY CONFIDENT IN SOME WAYS, & LACKING CONFIDENCE IN OTHER WAYS
Before we dive into the 5 KEYS, I want to share a quick story that shows how people are usually confident in some areas, but then lacking confidence in other ways.
Take my amazing friend, let’s call her “Sarah”.
Sarah’s an athlete, a small business owner, and mum of 3 young kids.
Recently Sarah and I caught up and she told me all about her training and competition goals for 2020. Sarah was SO excited and confident as she spoke– she lit up like a Christmas tree! It was awesome.
But when I asked her about one competition in particular (the BIGGEST competition that I know she’s secretly hoping to crush) Sarah’s confidence EVAPORATED in a split second.
You could see the energy and glow just drain right out of her! I felt terrible for her, because I knew that it wasn’t her skill, but her lack of confidence, was that was getting in the way of her own greatness.
Can you relate? I know I can. It’s such an overwhelming and scary place to be…
So, why was Sarah super confident about training, and about some competitions– but so lacking in confidence at this one competition?
Answer:
SARAH’S NEVER DONE A COMPETITION THAT BIG BEFORE
= NO PRACTISE AT IT
= NO CONFIDENCE
It’s that simple; we’re almost never confident at something we’ve never done before.
But here’s the thing– two years ago, Sarah lacked confidence entering almost ANY competition!
Fortunately, Sarah still entered, but she had low-to-no expectations of her performances. [Note- this approach of having really low expectations is actually a great way of just STARTING something!]
At first, Sarah’s competition results weren’t great, but she dedicated herself to training smarter AND harder.
Sarah also got used to competing [aka: she practised competing] and competitions stopped being such a big deal.
Instead of focusing on how scary competitions were, Sarah simply got used to them. This allowed her progress and hard work in training, to shine through during competition.
Naturally, Sarah’s results improved. It became a reinforcing success loop!
The more she trained– the better she got, and the more she competed– the better her results!
Taking ACTION, in both training and competition, was the cure-all to growing Sarah’s first level competition confidence.
OUR CONFIDENCE GROWS IN LINE WITH OUR ACTIONS
Can you remember how scary it was on your first day of school?
If that’s too much of a stretch, what about how nervous you were when you first started driving a car?
After you’ve done something 5, 10, 20, and then eventually HUNDREDS of times, you’re so experienced at it, you can’t help but feel relaxed about it.
But you’re not just relaxed, you’re also confident.
ACTION is the real driving force to confidence.
The more actions you take, the more you’ll develop your confidence.
Firstly, DECIDE what you want to be more confident in.
Then, follow these 5 keys.
5 POWERFUL KEYS TO DOUBLING YOUR CONFIDENCE
KEY #1- Immerse yourself in PRACTISE.
Imagine you’re learning a language in a native speaking country vs practising the language from a book, for an hour, three times a week.
Where would you learn faster and better?
In each situation, where would your level of confidence be after 6 months?
You got it! The more immersive your practise, the more your confidence will skyrocket.
KEY #2- Know your strengths & actively develop them.
Double down on the stuff you’re already good at. Turn your OK into good, or your GOOD into GREAT!
But, let’s say you’re terrified of something, like learning a new skill, and you feel like you’re completely hopeless at it? Well, I hear you!
Here’s how I dealt with it…
When I first started surfing it honestly felt like I was good at NOTHING. I can’t tell you how bad I felt! I was so ASHAMED. So, this key of “doubling down” felt impossible to me.
Then I realised– I could be good at not giving in!!
Sure, I still sucked at surfing. I even had a really bad surfing accident that saw me have emergency surgery which was completely terrifying. The accident (and the months of healing afterwards) made me even MORE terrified to keep surfing. It was bad.
But I knew that if I just had the audacity– and the humility– to KEEP trying, and to keep FACING my insane levels of fear, that eventually something would shift.
By taking continued action I knew I’d have to eventually improve, and my confidence would eventually grow. It all was about trying to kickstart that reinforcing loop pattern!
I have honestly gone from being totally terrified of surfing, to loving it!
With my original bar set SO low, I have easily more than doubled my confidence at surfing.
So if you’re really bad at something like I was, or if you’re terrified like I was, just know that it doesn’t need to be a show-stopper.
The question here is; are you prepared to work through your fear?
— Are you willing to go beyond the self-judgement?
— Are you prepared to support yourself through feeling totally hopeless, or inadequate?
— Are you prepared to stick with it, even if you’re terrible at it right now?
Because if you do, on the other side of that, your CONFIDENCE most certainly awaits!
KEY #3- Know your weaknesses & actively develop them.
We typically avoid the stuff we’re not good at, so be careful of unconsciously skipping this key action.
If you work smart, and consistently, you’ll eventually transform your weaknesses into strengths.
When you can eliminate your weaknesses, your confidence will grow. EXPONENTIALLY!
KEY #4- Practise TALKING & THINKING to yourself in a helpful, supportive, & encouraging way.
This KEY requires self-awareness.
You have to remain a vigilant guard over your mind, and be fully aware of how you think and talk to yourself.
Every time you’re being unkind and unsupportive to yourself, stop it.
Practise saying something kind or supportive instead.
When I was surfing and I was terrified, I would fall off my board or make really embarrassing, dumb mistakes.
But instead of being hard on myself, I actually started trying to encourage myself. I’d shake off the shame and appreciate the effort of just TRYING. Or I’d try to just smile and tell myself– you’ll get there! keep going!
Some people might think this is weird, but not me. Not anymore.
Self-loathing and self-criticism creates fear.
Self-support creates self-acceptance, self-love, and self-confidence.
KEY #5- Practise SEEING yourself as confident.
Being able to visualise– to imagine your success– is a HUGE factor in developing your confidence. If you find this step to be a bit wishy-washy, I’d like to respectfully challenge you on this.
I’ve personally experienced tremendous results with visualisation practices, which I’ve covered in the Re-Set a few months back [The Re-Set is my FREE weekly mindset & awareness check-in, for my subscribers only. To join us, please simply subscribe!]
I explained how I won my first ever Australasian Karate Title in 2003, primarily thanks to my 6-week routine of immersive, twice a day visualisation practise.
There’s also a ton of data that shows visualisation is highly effective.
In Sarah’s situation, KEY #5 would be the MOST important step she could take to boost her confidence. Why? Because it’s the only way she can actually practice being in a big competition!
Through deep, immersive visualisation, Sarah needs to imagine the outcome she wants into existence.
So there you have it! The 5 KEYS you can use to double your confidence!
As you can see, confidence isn’t just something you simply have, or don’t have. It’s not reserved for a few “lucky” few.
Confidence is EARNED through taking actions– which includes PRACTISING believing in yourself.
Here’s to taking greater actions, greater self-support, and to massively greater confidence!
I’d love to know– which of these KEYS most struck a chord with you?
What would you like to build your confidence in?
Let me know in the comments below!