I am officially impressed with our mindset community.
I loved getting every response to “Max’s” situation (not their real name of course), which I wrote about the other day. The responses were terrific and I’ll share a few here to highlight some of the insights.
Also, because it has to do with what I consider the most underrated skill today.
First, a quick recap on the story;
“Max”, one of my former coaching clients, agreed to do a presentation in front of 200 industry people. This was an idea which he absolutely hated, but he agreed because he felt it would be good for him.
I told Max about an amazing resource I knew of; a podcast where an expert shared the exact process they used to get over their extreme anxiety about giving their TED talk.
Even though Max and I had finished working together, I checked in with him anyway to see how he was going with it all. I asked what he thought of the podcast and in his one line email reply he said– I couldn’t find it.
CASE CLOSED.
I was so bummed for Max because he had been making so much progress previously, and because I really wanted him to succeed.
I asked our mindset community — what would you do differently?
Here are some of the fantastic answers shared with me.
BTW I’ll never change anyone’s words so please ignore typo’s or spelling mistakes if there are any. Don’t get distracted by things that don’t really matter. Also, not everyone in our community is a native English speaker, so full credit to everyone for their terrific replies!
There were creative, pro-active answers like this;
There were empathetic responses like this one, showing a depth of understanding that there was more to Max’s situation than we knew about;
And THIS. YES!!
Why oh why wouldn’t Max just ASK me if I knew where the link to the podcast is? Or he could’ve asked for more detail on the podcast, so he could improve his search? But no, he just folded as soon as it wasn’t just right there.
You might be wondering– why didn’t I just give Max the link to the podcast? Well, I didn’t have it filed away waiting for this exact moment. Although with about 10 mins of searching, I could have found it.
I really wanted Max to use the incredible information in the podcast and to be as ready as possible for his presentation. But I’ve (finally) learnt that you need to allow people to step up and do things for themselves. Especially leaders who need to develop their leadership.
Then there was this response from Jo (real name, permission given), which took it to another level.
Look how astute it is when this reader realises that sometimes THEY don’t follow up on recommendations too! Truthfully, this is more or less everyone.
We all ignore great advice about plenty of things! Diet. Exercise. Relationships. How to negotiate your salary. It goes on.
I love this insight, and how this mindset community member uses someone else’s experience and applies to their own context, recognising something about themself in the process.
HOW DID THE STORY END?
This part is astonishing.
You might disagree with me on this– and you’re very welcome to– but I believe what happened next shows the incredible power of the unconscious mind.
Max didn’t do the presentation.
He got a severe case of laryngitis two days before the presentation and couldn’t talk for a week.
WHAT?! I find this totally mind-blowing. If you ever needed a great reason to not do a talk you hated the thought of doing, this would be it!
Now, I completely believe Max was sick. He didn’t fake it.
I believe that Max was in such a state of anxiety over the presentation, that it unconsciously shut his voice box down. This was the result of the power of the mind, and its inextricable link to the body.
THE MOST UNDERRATED SKILL TODAY
If you look at the answers readers sent across, they all have something in common.
It’s what I believe is THE most underrated skill today.
You never see it written on any job description.
You never hear anyone saying they want to develop it.
But I’m going to break the mould and declare it, and you can bet I’m going to start creating and sharing material on it.
I’m talking about RESOURCEFULNESS.
When we’re resourceful, we can find our way out of any situation.
Resourcefulness determines our ability to find a way, learn the necessary skills, gain the relevant knowledge, create something out of nothing, and take as much action as required to get the result you’re after.
Capable and successful people have it in ABUNDANCE.
Those that struggle in life don’t. Instead they wait, passively, for others to give them all the answers.
Or worse– they wait for others to do it for them.
FIVE POWERFUL WAYS TO BECOME MORE RESOURCEFUL
Developing your resourcefulness isn’t just about adding more tools to your toolkit.
It’s also about eliminating any habits where your resourcefulness leaks out.
So here are 2 things you can STOP doing, 2 things you can START doing, and 1 thing you can KEEP doing to build your resourcefulness!
WHAT TO STOP DOING
#1 Don’t limit your identity
Every time we say “That’s just the way I am”, or “I’m the kind of person who-” we’re talking about ourselves with a fixed mindset.
As Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t like how things are, change it. You’re not a tree.” This goes for people too!
Yes, we all have a core nature, but we are also creators.
We can CREATE a version of ourselves that we choose.
We can choose how we act. We can shape our personality. We decide for ourselves who and what we want to be!
#2 Don’t put your head in the sand
Living in denial is a short-term coping mechanism which ultimately never serves us in the long run.
If I put my head in the sand about not knowing how to effectively manage my finances, it’s going to show up at some point in my life. Repeatedly.
And it will keep repeating, unless I figure it out.
This goes for anything and everything, from neglecting your health to neglecting the kinks in your relationship.
What we don’t face, eventually comes to face us.
Ignorance is most certainly not bliss. Denial robs us of our resourcefulness.
WHAT TO START DOING
#3 Live with a growth mindset
Replace any fixed thinking about who you are and what you’re capable of, and adopt a growth mindset instead.
This doesn’t mean you’re flaky or that you change your mind every 5 minutes, or that you don’t stand for anything.
What it does mean is that you’re willing to view yourself, and the world, from alternate viewpoints.
It means that you’re willing to explore ideas, not shut them down.
It means that you come from a space of infinite possibilities, not finite potential.
For an exact, step-by-step process on how to develop a growth mindset, please read (and action) my Ultimate Guide to Having a Growth Mindset; How to Free Yourself from Crushing Fixed Mindsets, and how to Develop a Powerful Growth Mindset Instead.
#4 Be a voracious learner
Get curious. Be fascinated. Wonder. Dream. Imagine. Think. Question. Go deeper.
Try things. Make mistakes. Learn. Try it again– better this time.
Ask people. Find experts. Model them.
Listen to people with totally alternate views to you. See if there’s any truth to what they’re saying.
Develop your own unique point of view. Keep evolving your point of view. Read. Listen.
Learn, endlessly.
Take massive action. Action is the most powerful kind of learning.
WHAT TO KEEP DOING
#5 Keep becoming a better version of yourself
I’m certain that every person reading this is striving to grow and evolve. That’s perfect. You keep that up!
If there’s anything you’re struggling with and think I might able to help, try me.
NEXT STEPS
Knowledge alone isn’t enough. Unfortunately, too many of us confuse knowing with doing.
So start by taking action on just ONE of the five areas I’ve listed.
Pick one, and start working on that!
I’d love to know– which of the 5 areas listed resonates with you the most? Let me know in the comments below!
P.S. Next week we’re going to look at the ULTIMATE resource, and how to develop it. I predict you’re going to find this incredibly valuable.
Honestly, it’s one of the most useful and powerful overarching strategies in my whole toolkit, and I can’t wait to share it with you!
If you haven’t already, join our mindset community (totally FREE) and make sure you don’t miss out. Sign up here!